Life Expectancy Now 78 Years Old
I caught the headline of the newspaper yesterday that the average life expectancy is now 78 years old in America. This is not good. We should be shortening the average life expectancy if we want to reduce our carbon footprint. What a conundrum. Legislation please. We must stop this whole living too long thing. Hey Al, pass the smokes.
Here are your new environmentalists.
Overweight people. See, I do care about the environment.
Smokers.
Alcoholics.
Gangs; think drive by shootings.
Anyone who puts their life in jeopardy.
Join our green movement today! It is easier than jogging everyday. Or join your local chapter, fatbastards.com
Hey, if we all do our part we can avoid those dreaded diaper years.
That’s my plan and I’m sticking to it.
I smoke and drink. If I also start letting the weight build up and do drive bys on the Segway then I’d actually be a champion of the human race.
Si, some spandex and I could be Captain Ultimo! Or maybe Ultra Mega Man.
At last, a reason to wear my cape while riding the Segway.
Clearly I need to stop running and increase the smoking and drinking. Thanks for the advice, David!
[…] June we learned that my current diet will help save the planet. Now they are telling me that my fat is going to come in handy when I get […]